EMAIL FROM EBENEZER

Sorry that it has been so long since I have blogged....been a bit busy! I have received a considerable amount of flack from many of you, so here I am.

I was trying to come up with something clever to blog about and then I got the funniest email this morning.

As most of you know I have been doing the online dating thing. Most of the time it is really great....other times- not so much.

Anyway, I have always been opposed to the whole "long distance dating" thing....just not for me. So when guys from more than 50 miles or so want to talk to me I usually just politely say that they geographically undesirble.

BUT, there is this guy named Jim.... I probably haven't told many of you about Jim cause I haven't actually gone on a date with him because he lives all the way in Oregon. Way too far. I kept trying to tell him that....he is quite persistent. He is so funny that I have continued to communicate with him. We now talk on the phone a lot and have so much in common. He is actually a Pastor.....wife cheated on him with a man in the congregation that was going through some hard times and he let him live at his house (nice repayment huh? steal the guys wife!)....he confronts them....she filed for divorce....blah, blah, blah. So basically, I feel his pain. :-) We have become very good friends. All this to say that when we were talking on the phone yesterday I was telling him about the fact that I get all these old guys looking for a young chick and they email me and how weird it is. So this is the email that he sent me through Christianmingle this morning. I thought it was so funny that I just had to share!

Hello Miss Toni,
I am an 93 year man who has never been married, never been on a date, and I find you to be very attractive. In fact the first time I saw your picture, my dentures fell out, and my pacemaker short circuited for a week. My heart was beating so fast that I could not send you a note for over 12 days. My 63 year old live in care provider, who I am sure you will find to be a very special companion, helped me with this message as I did not dare risk looking at your photo again. If we happen to get the opportunity to meet, as I am certain we will, as you get to know me and my contagious diposition... I will plan to leave my glasses at home, to not risk this misadventure on our eventual meeting. We do however need to go to a restaurant with very soft food. Could I suggest going for breakfast so I can order oatmeal. There has been a special on oatmeal at the local Denny's, nothing would be too good for you. Lunch would not work for me, as that is the time I nap, and dinner and I don't get along very well. Let me tell you a bit about myself. I am 4' 10" and 68 lbs. I used to have hair until I was 24, and was muddy brown. I worked for 53 years sorting aluminum cans at the recycling plant. It was a very challenging and exciting career. The Pepsi cans go in the left bucket, the Coca Cola cans in the right bucket and all others in the center bucket. I am now living off of social security and it would provide a very wonderful living for you and I at $930 a month. Oh and that is not all, every day I swiped a few cans from the recycling plant and have at least 2000 I have never returned. I felt no guilt in doing this as they provided no retirement plan. This is a very nice nest egg I have yet to dive into. I have a cat that has mades a wonderful companion, if she is not choking on hairballs. I will have to have her euthanized soon though as she got into my prescriptions and has never been the same since. If you find me interesting, I would appreciate the favor of a reply. Please type your message in 36 point font as I have difficulty seeing.
Sincerely, Ebenezer

Too funny!! Well, in case I don't get to blog before Christmas.....Merry Christmas from Nathan, Shelby and I to you and yours!!

Oh....and if you are reading this blog please either log in and leave a comment or email me cause I keep thinking that Deanna is the only one that reads them!!

Love to you!
~Toni

MY KIDS REALLY ARE THE BEST!

So the other day a guy from eharmony had emailed me and asked me about my kids...... as any mother knows you usually have to hold yourself back from absolutely gushing when the subject of your babies come up. So I try to control myself..... well, sorta! So I tell him that I am sure that he thinks that he has the best kids in the whole world but I actually DO have the best kids in the world! See, that's the thing about communicating online....I try to be witty and sometimes it doesn't come across that way. Apparently it did with him cause he called and asked me out... ANYWAY, that isn't what I wanted to talk about.... Where were we? Oh, yes....my kids. So God forbid that my two little angels would want to do the same show and make is easier on their old mom.....OH NO....Shelby wants to do Seussical and Nathan wants to do Once Upon a Mattress (which is very funny....it is adapted from the fairy tale- The Princess and The Pea) So they both auditioned and both got the leads that they wanted. Personally, I think that they were both TOTALLY typecast.... Shelby will be playing Mayzie....a sassy bird with LOTS of personality and Nathan is playing the handsome yet dopey Prince Dauntless :-) The best part about Nathan's show is that his girlfriend Leigha, who we all just love, is playing Princess Winifred who is the female lead and eventually marries Prince Dauntless. They are gonna have such a good time! They were both over the moon when they found out. So between church, school, cheerleading, and theater the three of us are going non-stop and loving every minute of it. I do get a bit burned out at times but I am thankful every single day for my kids and the fact that God has given me the privilege of raising them..... cause my kids REALLY are the best!

LIFE MIGHT NOT BE THE PARTY WE HOPED FOR....

BUT SINCE WE'RE HERE....WE MIGHT AS WELL DANCE!


So I saw this little saying the other day and I thought..... boy ain't that the truth!!

The more I thought about it....the more profound it became, especially as it applies to my life at the moment. This is certainly not what I had planned for myself or my kids BUT GOD..... yep, he had a whole other plan for me. Did he want me to be divorced? Absolutely not! But he knew that it would happen and he knew what I needed to learn from it.

Deanna and I were having one of our heart to hearts on Sunday and we were talking about all the pain that this divorce has caused BUT GOD.... without this trial I wouldn't understand God grace and mercy the way that I do now... I wouldn't be able to say AMEN! When I hear the verses about when we are weak he is made strong! I wouldn't truly understand the way the Lord holds you up when you feel like you can't even hold up your head.... how by HIS Grace.... I can go on and be all that he has called me to be. He has made my feet to stand upon a rock and I will not be moved!


So.... by God's grace....I'M DANCING!!!

I LOVE YOU DAD!

Good Morning!

It is 4:30 am in beautiful Southern California and I am up and wide awake.... not exactly sure why but I kinda like it sometimes. It seems that it is very rare that I get to be by myself when things are quite so I am enjoying this little alone time.

I have done some reflection this morning since I have been up. It has been 2 years today that my dad passed away. It is so hard to believe. There are times that it seems like just yesterday but most of the time it seems like forever since I have seen him. I miss him and my mom every single day. Not a day goes by that I don't think about them. I am so thankful that they were my parents.

As you know my life has taken a huge turn in the past two years and to be perfectly honest, I am really glad that my dad was not here to see it. It would have killed him for sure.... either that or he would have killed Lance!

Let see what is new with my kids? Shelby auditioned for Seussical The Musical on Saturday and called back for a second audition for The Cat In The Hat, Gertrude, Mayzie and Sour Kangaroo. So she had that second audition last night and did really well. We will find out in the next day or two what role she got. She really wants to be The Cat In The Hat, which by the way, her brother played last year. Shelby says that she wants the part so she can show her brother how its done.... that's my girl!

Nathan is auditioning for Once Upon a Mattress which is a take off of the story The Princess and The Pea. It is a hilarious musical. Carol Burnett played the female lead on Broadway so you can imagine what a funny show it is. He is hoping for the role of Prince Dauntless..... He auditions next weekend.

Both kids are doing really well in school. Shelby is a cheerleader and having a blast at that. Nathan is in Madrigal, a singing group at school and is also involved in Young Life which is a home bible study for high school students and he is really loving that.

As far as what I am up to.... just plugging along. I am hosting a baby shower for Cindi's oldest niece Kelli on Saturday so I am trying to get the house/backyard presentable for that. All in all I am feeling very happy and blessed. Life is good.... God is good!

Love to all of you!
~Toni

WAY TOO FUNNY NOT TO SHARE!

Okay..... so this is just WAY too good not to share..... So I am a member of eharmony...... I know that online dating has gotten some bad press but I gotta tell ya it has really been great. It is very difficult to meet Christian men that are single and age appropriate let me tell ya! I have actually met some very nice christian guys and have gone out to dinner with a few and for the most part have no complaints. Anyway, every once in a while I will get one that is a little....shall we say....different.

So, I get this email from this guy that I have corresponded with several times via email and he seemed very normal. Anyway, he emails me tonight and asks if my kids have liked my boyfriends. I email him back and tell him that with only one exception my kids have not met anyone that I have dated because I don't let anyone come to my house... I always drive myself. (gotta play it safe right). So he responds back and asks me if I think that my kids would be comfortable if he burped and passed gas in front of them.... What the heck? Is that odd...or it just me? NEXT!

Alrighty then.... this guy will never be getting the chance to expel any sort of gas around my kids thank you very much!

And so the saga continues!

Who Am I

So..... I was just listening.... really listening to the words of this Casting Crowns song and just had to share them.

"Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star Would choose to light the way For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling Lord,
You catch me when I'm falling And You've told me who I am
I am Yours,
I am Yours
Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin Would look on me with love and watch me rise again Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea Would call out through the rain And calm the storm in me I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear 'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

My Baby turns 13

Where in the world does the time go? My little girl, who I swear was just learning to walk yesterday, has become a teenager! It just doesn't seem possible..... that is until you start talking to her and then you realize that she is actually 13 going on 30!



I often tell Shelby that I really don't know how I made it to 42 without her running my life! She is a crack up.... she is definitely the secretary of the family. She is forever reminding Nathan and I where we are supposed to be and what time. She reminds me when there are dentist appointments to make and when my hair needs to be cut. It cracks me up and annoys the heck out of her brother!



Anyway, Shelby's birthday was last Saturday so Friday night she decided that she wanted the slumber party extraordinaire! So that is what we did. She invited 8 of her closest friends over for a sleep-over. I would just like to say that I use the word "sleep-over" very loosely since there really wasn't much sleep being done. I could still hear them up and giggle at 3:30 am. All the girls were great though. It is amazing the amount of pizza, soda, M & M, gummy bears, cake, ice cream, and chips those little girls could consume!



At about midnight we decided to go toilet papering..... Shelby wanted to TP Cute Tree Boy's house.... aka Sean. He got the nickname "Cute Tree Boy" from when he was in Wizard of Oz with Shelby playing one of the trees that threw apples at Dorothy.... at the time she didn't know his name but apparently..... she noticed him. Anyway, MAN did we do this house up right. We had 50....that's right 50 rolls of toilet paper. I will try to post a picture when Cindi sends them to me but it was a total blast. We even had sidewalk chalk and the girls wrote messages all over the sidewalk and driveway. My favorite was what Nathan wrote.....being the pain in the butt big brother he wrote "happy birthday Shelby".... I thought she was gonna kill him. Sean did call the next day to ask Shelby what she had done the night before and told her that pay back was coming! She told him..... in a very nonchalant way..... bring it on! cause I will be waiting with water balloons! That's my girl! Never to be outdone!



After all the girls left in the morning and all the streams were cleaned up Shelby and I decided to get some much needed rest. As we were getting ready for a nap on my bed she turned and said to me "Mom, this was the best birthday ever. I love you so much and you are the best mom in the whole world".... doesn't get any better than that!